Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Baby Weight

Here's the real reason women blame gaining weight on their children (child birth) even when their children are grown. I'll even use actual numbers to break it down.

From my personal experience, I had gained 50 pounds during my pregnancy (which is average). The day I found out I was pregnant I purposely weighed myself just to see how much I would actually gain during my pregnancy. My diet before my pregnancy was pretty standard. I wasn't a health freak, but I also didn't eat fast food all day. I was conscious about what I ate, but not to the point where I was counting calories. During my pregnancy I had maintained an even healthier diet (for the baby of course). I didn't have a huge, weird appetite as people assume pregnant women have, so I didn't eat like a slob.

Fast forward a bit. I've given birth to my beautiful child. I'm not expecting the pounds to come flying off, but I had at least expected to return to my normal weight seeing that I was returning to my normal diet/lifestyle. I gave myself a good 6 months just to see if my body would return to it's norm. I never was skinny, I just wanted to be back at the weight I was the day I found out I was pregnant.

6 months later some of the weight came off, but not all of the weight. I had lost 25 pounds of the 50 pounds I had gained. I couldn't understand how I was carrying an EXTRA 25 pounds when my diet and lifestyle didn't change. If anything, I was more active after my pregnancy and was still bigger than I was originally. This had me thinking a lot.

If I was a health nut before getting pregnant and all of a sudden gained a ton of weigh, it would take me being a health nut times 2 just to be back normal. So now you're having to live an unreasonable lifestyle JUST to maintain your normal weight in which you were maintaining just fine before you were pregnant. I find that mind boggling.

Now here I am, on a diet and I'm still not my "normal fat". It'll probably take me running a marathon and eating lettuce for 3 meals a day just to be obese.

I'm hungry. Carry on. - India

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

My Bloody Nose

How these weird things keep happening to me, I don't know. This should be a really short story.

On Saturday, 8/5/2017, I ended up with a bloody nose and my 4-year-old is the reason why. I wish the story could be a bit cooler. You know, like "I was teaching my kid how to fight and she won" or "we was just playing around". Nope, none of that. I got a stick rammed up my nose. How? I'll try my absolute best to explain.

First off, let's define "stick". I'm referring to those decorative tree limb thingies people put in vases around their houses. If you whoop your kids, it's called a "switch". For the record I don't beat my child. I just like to decorate my house with random sticks and mason jars. Now that we have that clear let's get back to explaining.

I was cleaning my house (as I typically do) and my beautiful daughter wanted to help. She loves cleaning with me and I love when she helps me. This particular time, she wasn't much help. I was trying to clean behind the couch. This consisted of me physically moving the couch and sweeping our hardwood floors. Everyone cleans behind their couch, right? That's normal, I think. While I was cleaning from behind the couch my kid somewhat got in the way. She kept asking me for a hug while my hands were full and I was busy. I gracefully explained to her that I'll give her a hug in a few minutes. I just needed time to clear my hands and get in a position where I wasn't behind a couch. Welp, she didn't take that as an answer. She wanted her hug and she wanted it NOW. My sweet baby girl got upset and decided to join me behind the couch. While she was climbing all over me, she had a "stick" in her hand. Why, I don't know. I turned around to calm her down and to finally give her the hug she has been begging me for. As I did that, the stick she was holding went straight up my nose.

Apparently a jumpy 4-year-old plus an agitated Mother results in sticks being rammed up your nose. It could have been worse. She could have poked my eyeball out of the socket again.

- India aka The "Weird", Accident Prone Mama

Monday, January 30, 2017

Children Will Ruin Your Life

Children will ruin your life! I said it, I mean it. Before you start gasping, listen.

It's no secret I'm super obsessed with my daughter (now 4 years of age). I can't express that enough. She's has changed my life in more than one way. Not only is she the absolute, biggest, most wonder blessing ever... She's also the source of most of my stress.

I'm talking about being physically, mentally and emotionally drained. All of this can simply come from loving your child "too" much and always worrying about their well-being and safety. Constantly worrying no matter what your child is doing, or who your child is with can cause a huge strain on someone trying living a "normal" life, especially mothers. Mothers tend to be the care givers and nurturers. You find yourself crying more and not getting a mental break. You would think the older the child gets, the more you stop worrying. That's not true at all. My mother is still crazy over us (my sisters and I) and we're all well in our 30s! *inserts sad face here*

My mother's craziness is actually what sparked this topic. I'm stressed out dealing with my child, but had somewhat of a peace-of-mind thinking it would just be temporary. You know, me being stressed out or what not. Seeing my mother constantly worry and stress out about my OLD sisters and I is how I came up with the conclusion that motherhood will permanently ruin your life.

Some people just call it being protective.

Monday, February 23, 2015

Children's Book Illustrations

indiaSheana, India, India Simpson, India Sheana Simpson
Here's some cool news. I, indiaSheana, illustrated and laid out a children's book written by my dear friend Kimberly Christina. It was nothing but pure joy working with a close friend and sharing our passion for kids and education. This book was inspired by a lot of things, but most importantly, it was inspired by LOVE.

This book is a celebration of the different shades of our brown skin tones. It's designed to uplift our children and to teach our children about acceptance.

We've dedicated this book to the 2 girls who inspire us to be great, Biscuit and Asia. WE LOVE YOU!

CLICK HERE to order your electronic ebook on amazon!

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Babies, Eyeballs, Let's Blog...

If I told you my eyeball came out of the socket none of you would believe me. Well it did, and my innocent 2-year-old is to blame. It's not everyday that your eyeball pops out, so let's blog!

Motherhood is becoming quite scary, but that's another blog. I sit here, yet again, wondering how to explain certain incidents that occur in my household. I'll attempt to explain how my Saturday afternoon consisted of me trying to put my eyeball back in my head, me crying, me freaking out while my daughter looks and laugh.

It's a typical Saturday afternoon. The kid and I are lounging around the house, watching television and being lazy. We like relaxing on days off. I'd just got finished cleaning the kitchen and decided to take a break and hang out in the bedroom with the kid. I figured it would be a good idea to close ourselves in the bedroom to prevent her from messing up the parts of the house I'd just cleaned. We're lounging around, as we typically do and my daughter decides to come lay with me in the bed. It's noon so I'm thinking this is the perfect time for a good nap (the both of us). We're both winding down, so I'm expecting the next few hours to be a breeze. I wouldn't describe what was to follow as "breezy".

My daughter, being the energetic child she is, gets a pop of energy from nowhere and decides to start playing with my face and ears. Of course I let her. She's no stranger to playing with mommy's face. Sometimes she even picks my nose, but that's another blog. She then takes her right thumb and pokes me in the top of my left eyelid. The poke was so forceful that my eyeball ended up in my left hand as I had the left side of my face covered with my left hand. At this point I'm freaking out because my eyeball is literally out of the socket and I have no clue what to do. The only reasonable thing I could think of was to call someone for help, specifically 9-1-1. Somehow I'd placed my eyeball back in it's socket. From there, I immediately started crying. I cried not because it was painful, but because I was freaked out. As I'm going through my tragedy all I can hear is my daughter laughing in the background. As cute as her laugh is, I was frustrated. I don't trust toddlers!

Now I'm completely terrified of my child getting near my face. To top things off, she's currently trying to eat dirt out of one of my plants while I'm writing this blog. I'm still crying.

Happy Saturday, folks!

With love,

Monday, December 22, 2014

I Eat Trash

Confessions of a Weird Mom #6:

I eat trash! Not because I'm weird, but because I'm lazy. A pattern of events lead to this conclusion. I'll try everything in me to explain.

I like keeping a clean house. With a wild toddler running around it's more work for me. Snack time is a must when it comes to my child. With my free-spirited, independent, child, it's hard to contain her while she's eating goldfish, cheerios, teddy grahams and other snack foods. Not to mention, my child loves running around the house while she's eating her snack foods. I do a good job of maintaining my home, but I've been falling off lately.

Lately I've been noticing cheerios in odd places of my house. One morning I woke up to a cheerio sticking to my outer thigh from my daughter leaving random cheerios in my bed. Instead of me walking the single cheerio to the trash can I ate it. What's the purpose of taking just one cheerio all the way to the trash, right?

On another occasion I'd noticed goldfish under my bed while actually looking for something else. I have no idea how long that goldfish was under there, but I ate it. Again, I didn't have the energy to just throw the goldfish away. This is when I noticed a pattern of me eating old snacks from the floor just to avoid taking it to the trash.

Let's face it. I do this all the time. It's unsanitary, but I'm a mother. Mothers are built strong! Yes, I'm trying everything to convince people that eating old food off the floor is acceptable. The fact is I'm just super lazy. I'll probably continue to eat trash.

Oscar The Grouch
(aka indiaSheana)

Friday, October 31, 2014

She's Terrible!

Let me check myself and explain to you all how I was about to write a blog post titled "The Terrible Twos Are Cute". I was confident too. I took that stage to be a joke until a recent grocery store trip. Now, I take every word of that back! I assumed the terrible twos stage was nothing more than a baby crying. In that case, I summed it up as being cute because I think my daughter is cute when she cries. This isn't the case at all.

It took that trip to the grocery store for me to realize my child is terrible. She's manipulative and has a grand scheme of demanding her way. Yes she cries, but she takes it to the next level.

Have you ever been attacked by a 2-year-old?

Honestly, I don't have the energy to get into details of my child's behavior at the grocery store. Let's just say that trip ended in me trying to battle and discipline my 2-year-old while she was throwing a tantrum and literally throwing groceries out of the shopping cart. I ended up giving in to her and picking up groceries off the floor as my child watched her manipulative ways work. If I'm not mistaking, I saw my sweet child laughing at me as I was sweating, out of breath and chasing canned goods.

That day, we were both in tears.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

I Found a Crayon in the Crease of My Stomach!?

Confessions of a Weird Mom #5:

Ok folks, here it is. I found a broken crayon in the crease of my belly fat while teaching my 2-year-old daughter the letter "A", her name "Asia", the word "apple" and the color RED.

I don't know exactly how this happened, but I'll attempt to figure it out.

Apparently my daughter loves learning and she loves seeing me color on paper. After teaching her about letters, words and colors for over an hour, I decided I was tired and she had enough for the day. I put the crayons to the side and proceeded to sit back and take a deep breath. This 2 year old wasn't having that. She wanted to continue learning and coloring. Every time I would put a crayon down she would bring it back to me. This went on for at least 10 minutes until I just decided to pretend to be asleep.

As I'm faking sleep, she continues to bring me crayons and paper. The more I don't respond to her, the more she throws a tantrum. I'm used to it so it's not a big deal. Although I'm faking sleep, I ended up dozing off in real life. Again, the child didn't stop. I woke up a few seconds later with ripped paper in my hair and a broken crayon in my stomach.

I'm pretty sure it was the purple crayon. Whether or not my stomach caused the crayon to actually break, I don't know, but it wouldn't surprise me if it did.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Baby Mama

My daughter (2 years of age) was playing with a framed baby picture of me. I wanted her to know that it was a picture of me and not her.

At this point in my daughter's life she's learning and developing everyday. As she points to the framed baby picture of me I look at her and I say "mama, that's mama, can you say mama". The kid didn't say anything. She has never had a problem with saying the word "mama". She says it at least 50 times a day. So of course I panic. I feel horrible because I think I've totally confused my baby. She's probably wondering how a picture of a baby could possibly be her mother.

I'll just fix the problem, easy. I'll attempt to explain to my daughter that the picture she's playing with is of me (her mother) when I was a baby. I look at my baby, she points to the picture and I say "mama, can you say mama, BABY MAMA".

Now my 2 year old is walking around calling me her baby's mama!

indiaSheana (Baby's Mama)

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Painter's Tape On A Diaper

I like to think of myself as being resourceful and somewhat frugal. As a mom on a mission I always have solutions to every problem.

One morning I was routinely changing my daughter's diaper when one of the tabs, on the new diaper, had broken off. Being the extremely smart, resourceful person I am I decided NOT to throw away a perfectly good diaper; those things are super expensive! Instead, I decided to create my own diaper tab out of painter's tape. Surely if the tape is good enough for painting walls, it's good enough to hold together a diaper. Problem solved, right?

My daughter was running around the house being a toddler and doing toddler things. Twenty minutes later I'd noticed her whole right leg was wet. In my mind I thought she had gotten a hold of some bubbles or something. Who knows? I checked her closer and it definitely wasn't bubbles that was making her wet. It just so happens that the painter's tape didn't hold up and my daughter had her diaper halfway on.

I ended up using a new diaper after all. Not only that, my daughter ruined an outfit. I ended up with a major headache. The moral of the story is to never use painter's tape on a broken diaper. Bite the bullet and use a new diaper.

Maybe next time I'll use super glue!?