Monday, December 22, 2014

I Eat Trash

Confessions of a Weird Mom #6:

I eat trash! Not because I'm weird, but because I'm lazy. A pattern of events lead to this conclusion. I'll try everything in me to explain.

I like keeping a clean house. With a wild toddler running around it's more work for me. Snack time is a must when it comes to my child. With my free-spirited, independent, child, it's hard to contain her while she's eating goldfish, cheerios, teddy grahams and other snack foods. Not to mention, my child loves running around the house while she's eating her snack foods. I do a good job of maintaining my home, but I've been falling off lately.

Lately I've been noticing cheerios in odd places of my house. One morning I woke up to a cheerio sticking to my outer thigh from my daughter leaving random cheerios in my bed. Instead of me walking the single cheerio to the trash can I ate it. What's the purpose of taking just one cheerio all the way to the trash, right?

On another occasion I'd noticed goldfish under my bed while actually looking for something else. I have no idea how long that goldfish was under there, but I ate it. Again, I didn't have the energy to just throw the goldfish away. This is when I noticed a pattern of me eating old snacks from the floor just to avoid taking it to the trash.

Let's face it. I do this all the time. It's unsanitary, but I'm a mother. Mothers are built strong! Yes, I'm trying everything to convince people that eating old food off the floor is acceptable. The fact is I'm just super lazy. I'll probably continue to eat trash.

Oscar The Grouch
(aka indiaSheana)

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