Wednesday, August 9, 2017

My Bloody Nose

How these weird things keep happening to me, I don't know. This should be a really short story.

On Saturday, 8/5/2017, I ended up with a bloody nose and my 4-year-old is the reason why. I wish the story could be a bit cooler. You know, like "I was teaching my kid how to fight and she won" or "we was just playing around". Nope, none of that. I got a stick rammed up my nose. How? I'll try my absolute best to explain.

First off, let's define "stick". I'm referring to those decorative tree limb thingies people put in vases around their houses. If you whoop your kids, it's called a "switch". For the record I don't beat my child. I just like to decorate my house with random sticks and mason jars. Now that we have that clear let's get back to explaining.

I was cleaning my house (as I typically do) and my beautiful daughter wanted to help. She loves cleaning with me and I love when she helps me. This particular time, she wasn't much help. I was trying to clean behind the couch. This consisted of me physically moving the couch and sweeping our hardwood floors. Everyone cleans behind their couch, right? That's normal, I think. While I was cleaning from behind the couch my kid somewhat got in the way. She kept asking me for a hug while my hands were full and I was busy. I gracefully explained to her that I'll give her a hug in a few minutes. I just needed time to clear my hands and get in a position where I wasn't behind a couch. Welp, she didn't take that as an answer. She wanted her hug and she wanted it NOW. My sweet baby girl got upset and decided to join me behind the couch. While she was climbing all over me, she had a "stick" in her hand. Why, I don't know. I turned around to calm her down and to finally give her the hug she has been begging me for. As I did that, the stick she was holding went straight up my nose.

Apparently a jumpy 4-year-old plus an agitated Mother results in sticks being rammed up your nose. It could have been worse. She could have poked my eyeball out of the socket again.

- India aka The "Weird", Accident Prone Mama

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